Empress Lessons
by Lady Silvamord
Summary: Kalasin of Conté learns how to be the perfect Empress, in more ways than one...


Empress Lessons

By day, Kalasin of Conté learned how to become the perfect Empress. She studied politics, languages, diplomacy, how to please a mother-in-law, types of accepted fashion, how to wear a short, semi-sheer veil and act like it was the full one favored by the ladies of the nobility, which ways to address which types of Carthaki nobility, how to hold a fork in the Carthaki fashion, how to be polite to Council members that you didn't _really _like…basically, everything that she needed to know about her future country.

"You're growing into a proper Imperial Majesty," Roald teased her affectionately. "I almost miss the days when you used to cut History of Magic classes to ride your horse bareback around the courtyard, showing off your superior skills to my friends."

Kally fluttered her eyelashes at him. "I miss making them fall in love with me, with a mere smile."

"_I _don't," Roald replied, grinning. "I think Faleron needs a dance partner. Put him out of his misery."

His sister went without protest, and the prince sat back, thinking that she really _had _grown up during her years at King's Reach. All those lessons must have taught her _something._

Of course, Roald had no idea about some of the other types of lessons taught at King's Reach. Kally was curious about her future husband and his family, of course, and often voiced her thoughts to Faleron. "Will he like me?"

Faleron eyed her. "It would be impossible not to. But at the very least, he will be impressed by how very imperial you are."

"I try," she said, fluffing her hair and leaning back on the sofa. "I've worked awfully hard to impress him, you know. But do you have any feedback for me? Am I not curtsying low enough? Do I hold my fork properly? Do I keep my eyes modestly lowered to any man who is not my husband or family."

"Oh, I know how hard you've worked, seriously." Faleron thought about Kalasin's questions for a few moments, and to her intense indignation, he began to laugh.

"Are you _mocking _me?" the princess demanded, outraged.

Faleron shook his head no, trying to keep his merriment restrained.

Kally glared. "I demand to know what is causing you so much glee."

The squire coughed, "Ah, Princess, it's not quite proper."

"I _want _to know, and I want to know what it is _now. _I am familiar with the crude inner workings of a male squire's mind, I assure you," she shot back icily.

"Will you not send me to the gallows if I tell you?"

Kally was trying to keep a latch on her impatience. "_No, _I shall not."

Faleron took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and wondered if his mother would be too disappointed in him if Kalasin ran to her in tears of shock. "Your husband will be pleased with how imperial you are during daytime, yes, but will he want you to be imperial in bed?"

He kept his eyes lowered for about a minute after he said that, and finally risked a glance upward. Kalasin was staring at him, mouth open with the sheer improper shock of it. _Her virgin ears, _Faleron thought, beginning to feel panicked. _I defiled the innocence of the princess with my scandalous thoughts. My mother will murder me, if the King and Roald don't get me first. _

"Kalasin, Princess, Highness, please, I'm sorry about your virgin ears and stolen innocence—"

Kally waved her hand. "Shut up, Faleron. What if Kaddar _does _want me to be imperial in bed? What if he commands me to command him to tie him up to the bedposts and attack him with my fingernails and the sharp end of a quill and wear a skintight black silk nightgown? What if he commands me to ravish him? _Faleron, I don't know how to ravish a man in a skintight black silk nightgown!_"

Faleron inched away from her, eyes wide. Her voice had risen to an infuriated screech, and he could swear that one of the maids across the hallway had paused while she was cleaning a fireplace. "Kalasin, shh. Be calm."

"How can I be calm? In one and a half more years, I'm going to be marrying a man who possibly wants me to be his…his…dominatrix! I don't know how to be a man's dominatrix! I'm supposed to be a good girl for my husband!"

Faleron managed to close his mouth. "What in the name of _Mithros _has my mother been teaching you?"

Kally blushed. "Things."

Faleron crossed his arms. "I might have to reeducate you."

"Why?"

"Men like their women to take command, once in a while."

Kally's eyes were huge. It was evident that this was a new idea.

"Actually, more than once in a while."

"I've spent sixteen and a half years thinking that men like women to be soft and nice and serve them strawberries in bed."

Faleron shook his head, beginning to enjoy himself. "You are _such _an innocent."

"Well, who's _supposed _to teach me how to be imperial in bed?"

They were silent for a few moments. Kally raised an eyebrow at him. "You seem to know a lot about men and women and their bedchamber habits."

"Squires talk."

"Ah."

Kally inched closer to him. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to take me to your chambers and command me to ravish you, or not?"

Faleron choked on his lemonade. "Since when did we come to that arrangement?"

"Since I realized you're adequately handsome and the only person who's ever told me how to properly please an Emperor. You do want me to make Kaddar happy, don't you? And if Kaddar's happy, I, as his content Empress, will be happy as well. And of _course _you want me to be happy."

"Damn your circular reasoning."

"You sound like my brother. Except he's politer about saying it. _He _knows how to treat a lady."

"_I _can treat you better than that."

Kally gave him a youthfully seductive look. "Now we're getting somewhere."

They stared defiantly at each other for a few moments, both of their arms crossed defiantly. Faleron was the first to break down. "Third doorway on the right side of the west wing. Get a nightgown from my mother's chambers on the way up. Scintillating and black with lace, preferably. I'll be up in a little while. Find some of my sister's scarves, tie them together to make a rope, and lean against the bedposts and look menacing."

"Thank you!" Kally squealed, and dashed away, before pausing at the parlor door. "If you ever decide to move to Carthak, I'll use the fruit of your lessons to make sure you have a nice seaside holding there. Duchy, if you wish."

Faleron grinned. "I'll see to it that you don't forget this promise. And would you mind terribly if I collected my thanks from your Kaddar, a few decades from now?"

"Preferably not," she replied flirtatiously, tossing her head over her shoulder. "I wish him to think me naturally talented."

"Admirable," Faleron said dryly, crossing his arms and watching her disappear up the stairs. Something told him that he and Kalasin would never again be bored during his mother's trips to Pirate's Swoop.

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Yes, I am serious. Well, not quite. But it _could _be true, couldn't it? After all, Kaddar's bedchamber habits have never been specified, and who can resist Kalasin in skintight black lace and a menacing expression?

...Sorry. I'll stop now.

Review?


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